In this politically correct world we live in I never say to anyone, have a great holiday or ask how their holidays were when we come back from break. It is not that I don't want to know or that I am trying to be politically correct. It isn't that I dont' care, my worry in asking is that I might bring up a bad feeling for that person.
December 21st 1969, a policeman came to our home to tell us that my Grandfather had died while he was at work. My Grandfather was the only Dad I had ever known and we had lived in his house since I was a year old. While it is more than 40 years ago, I still take a moment to pause on the 21st and remember Hans Charles Witte. This was the man who had ensured there was a roof over my head, clothes on my back and that I was given a wonderful place to live. I remember not knowing how to feel on Christmas Day. This was supposed to be a time for friends and family to gather with a great spirit. Things were different and they always would be after that year. It is not that they weren't good but they were different. It wasn't just that Dad was not there, it was little things that only he did that helped make the holiday special that would never happen again.
My holidays are now filled with my children and my family. We have created our own traditions and it has become for friends and family to gather with that great spirit again. It would have been great for Dad to know my wife, to meet my children, and to know that I turned out OK. I have solace now that my wife and children didn't have the privilege of knowing this man and that I can hold his memory just for me, it is my special way to make things right.
For many of our students and staff, the holidays are a tough time. Whether it is dealing with the memory of someone who is gone from their lives, someone who is sick, or the fact that school might be the only place they know they will get a good meal and have a safe place to be. For some students, school is their support system and the thought that they will not have that support for two weeks can be a bit scary. Most of the time these students don't tell us what is wrong or that they are afraid. Most suffer in silence, find a way to cope and get by. The year my Grandfather died I remember kids and teachers asking me how the holiday was. I replied great and spoke about the presents I received. I couldn't tell anyone my heart was breaking and each time I was asked the question, it hurt a little bit more.
So if you see a student or a co-worker who does not seem to be in the spirit take a moment to approach them with care. They may be struggling with their own holiday situation that they don't feel comfortable talking about. They may feel that they should be feeling jolly but just can't. Be there for them, support them with a smile and maybe you will be the reason that they are able to find some spirit as they get through their day.
Dad, December 21st is Wednesday, I will be thinking of you.
